Citegeist

Not mother of the year

// July 22nd, 2010 // 6 Comments » // My Kids

This morning, Miss4 finished her breakfast earlier than her sister and ran upstairs to get ready first.  “Not fair!” her sister screamed, “she always gets ready before me!”  “Well, if you wouldn’t sit there and scream and cry, you could get ready faster,” I criticized in return.  She ran out of the room in tears and screamed that she hated her sister.  This phrase had been appearing with alarming frequency lately, and I was tired of it.  I charged into her bedroom to call her on it, but before I could get a word out, she yelled, “Why do you always yell at me but you encourage her?”

I stopped dead. “You’re right. You’re totally right. I shouldn’t do that.”  Because her sister is still 4, I use a completely different approach with her.  Demands fall flat–the stronger the demand, the harder she digs her heels in.  Miss7 outgrew it, mostly, so to encourage her to get ready quickly, I had appealed to her growing sense of self-responsibility.  When she started first grade, we told her that she knew what the morning routine was, and that she was big enough to get ready without being prompted every step of the way.  It worked great.

Well, somewhere along the way, that got lost.  She constantly gets distracted doing the littlest tasks, and she has to be reminded multiple times every step of the way.  It’s easy for morning drama to escalate, especially when Miss4 “does things first.”

So, Miss7 and I had a good talk about how we shouldn’t yell at each other, and how she needs encouragement just as much as her sister does.  When we got to the point about not saying “I hate you,” she said “It’s hard helping take care of a little kid.”  “I know,” I said, “and I have *two* to look out for.”  “I do, too, Mom,” said Miss7, “I have to remind you of stuff sometimes, too.”

Yep. She’s totally right.  It’s not fair for parents to take out frustration and stress on our children, but everyone falls prey to it eventually (and for most people, repeatedly).  I just hope that others out there are lucky enough to have a kid that will call them on it.

Going to go cry in my Cheerios now.

What I do

// February 6th, 2010 // 3 Comments » // My Kids, Photography, Random, Social Stuff, librarians

A snapshot of projects today that comprise the whole me.

Crochet: an afghan for a pregnant friend (25% done); an afghan for Miss 6 (95% done); an afghan for Miss 4 (65% done); an afghan for me (designed, yarn purchased).

Photography/Art: taking Art History 497, The History of Modern Art. We just finished lectures on French and German Expressionism from the first decades of the Twentieth century and will start on the Cubists next.  Also taking ART 463 – Photography Independent Study, where I will produce a set of prints in the theme of “My Trees: the Tangency of Rural and Suburban”; write a paper of some kind on sequential photography; and uh, learn how to make digital prints.  Post to flickr occasionally; shoot occasionally for work.  Have literally thousands of 4×6 and other prints to put in albums. None have been printed since 2006 for this very reason!  (small victory: I put photos from the 1930s – 1970s in an album this week!)

Writing: currently drafting an issue of Library Technology Reports on OpenURL and linking, with Jason Price.  Write a monthly column (or 2 shorter ones, or a couple of photos) for ALA TechSource.  Write this blog. Write a personal blog.  Keep a personal data diary.  Tweet endlessly.  Post to Facebook occasionally.

Work: day-to-day management and coaching for four library staff (yikes, need to update that). Daily participation in library management and administration with fellow “Coordinators” (Administrators). Coordination of the UX Team and communication/coaching for its subgroups (OPAC, SFX, LibGuides, Usability, Web Design). Weekly liaison work: weeding, selecting, communication and reference with faculty and students; occasional instruction sessions; weekly LibGuides maintenance. Other Stuff As Assigned.

Entertainment: got caught up on 30 Rock, The Office, and Death Comes to Town (Kids in the Hall).  Still watching the fourth season of Dr. Who. (Oh, David Tennant!)

Family and home: daily work and conversations with daughters and husband.  This morning’s breakfast conversation with Miss 6 ranged from IEDs at Pakistani girls’ schools to vegetarianism in protest of mass-production of animal products (which we are going to try, together; we predict we will miss bacon) to tonight’s sleepover at Miss-Best-Friend 6’s house.  Put laundry in the dryer, dishes in the dishwasher, helped Miss 6 make her first scrambled eggs.  Ken listened with groggy fascination while drinking his coffee.  Miss 4 spent this time in her room cuddling with her blankey and listening to a book on CD.  I missed her.

I am happy.

(Another small victory: a year ago, I would never have used the phrase “the whole me” because I did not think I was, nor ever could be, whole.)

A message for President-Elect Obama

// November 6th, 2008 // 2 Comments » // My Kids, Photography

A message for President-Elect Obama

Originally uploaded by cindiann

This one-off self portrait was taken for the Message to Obama flickr group and has garnered 556 views, 17 favorites, and 15 comments in the hour that it’s been in my flickr stream. I find it pretty amazing that so many people are posting messages of joy, hope, and empowerment in this group. It’s also very illuminating to read the messages of those who express skepticism or dissent, respectfully and otherwise.

(Ba)rock on.

Happy New Year!

// December 31st, 2007 // 3 Comments » // My Kids

I am glad that this is the last day of 2007. It’s been a wild ride, and I look forward to a calmer 2008. Perhaps if I stay in one state, one house and one job, that will help.

I hope that this version of Jingle Bells helps you to usher in a pleasant new year.

PS the lyrics are: “Jingle bells, jingle bells, Christmas on the way / all the fun, mister ride / something something sleigh, hey!”

Maybe she’ll grow up to be an astrophysicist

// August 31st, 2007 // 3 Comments » // My Kids

My four-year-old wondered aloud the other day, two full days after completing her first connect-the-dots puzzle:

“I wonder what pictures would be in the sky if we could connect the stars like dots?”

(paraphrased but I was nonetheless impressed)

On travelling

// June 22nd, 2007 // 1 Comment » // Conferences, My Kids

I smiled at the parents of every small child I passed while travelling yesterday because:

• I miss my kids.
• I empathise with their beleagueredness.
• Yesterday, I was not one of them.

More Conversations

// September 9th, 2006 // 1 Comment » // My Kids

Watching the shuttle launch this morning:
B: the acrobats are in there!
me: yes, but they’re called astronauts.
B: well, I call them astrobats. 3, 2, 1, blastoff!!!

me: where did you get that bruise on your forehead?
B: it’s a spot.
me: it looks like a bruise. How did you do that?
B: remember my cousin Bruise, at the beach? Bruise, like the shark in Nemo!
me: it’s Bruce, honey.
B: Yeah, Bruce the shark.

An indication that I’ve been working too much

// August 4th, 2006 // 1 Comment » // My Kids

A phone conversation with my preschooler:

me: I’m on my way home
B: You never come home. Will you come home quickly and zoom your car really fast?
me: *sob*

More conversations

// May 18th, 2006 // No Comments » // My Kids

B: “What does that say on your shirt?”
me: “Hard Rock Cafe Las Vegas.”
B: “What’s ‘las’?”
me: “It’s a Spanish article meaning ‘the.’ ‘Vegas’ is–”
B: “If you’re lost, you go find your MOTHER!”

Conversing with a preschooler

// May 12th, 2006 // 1 Comment » // My Kids

At as early as 20 months, B knew the sounds made by many animals. I remember being on the flight home from Computers in Libraries last year and having quite a lengthy session on animal noises.

We recently had another session, which ended with:
me: what do mommies say?
B: sssssh! (no comment!)
me: what do daddies say?
B (with a stern face): NO!
me: what do grandmas say?
B (with a big smile): YES!

More (I wish I’d added a date after these, but they were all within the last month or two)

B: aunt char is aunt mandy’s wife
me: no, who’s married to aunt char?
blank stare
me: do you know where aunt char lives?
B: in her house!
me: do you know where aunt char’s house is?
B: far away!
me: yeah! but do you remember what state char’s house is in?
B: in North America!
me: yeah! do you remember what state?
B: I’m going to drink my milk now.
me: ok.

me: do you know who’s coming to see us in a few days?
B: yeah!
me: who?
B: Grandma Kay!
me: yeah!
B: yay, she’s coming in five minutes!
me: no, she’s coming in a few days.
B: yay! she’s coming to our house and we go to the beach!
me: yeah!
B: I love Grandma Kay, I love her, I love her! I can’t wait!

B: I drive to a grownup. One day there was a little girl called B for Beth, and I decided to go to the jungle so I drove a truck to go to the jungle. I decided that I was hungry, so I pickd an apple and then I eat it! I go to the jungle first and then to Liz’ birthday party, it’ll be great!
B: I’m finsihed with my dinner. I ate a pretty good dinner, now I get a popsicle.
me: no, you have to finish your noodles before you get a popsicle.
b: my forehead was moving yeterday, with daddy.
b: mom, i don’t want to cut you.
me: i don’t want you to cut me, either
b: i don’t want to cut you with the clippers, that really hurts. Mama?
me: yeah
b: i want to look at pictures of driving to a truck and going to a jungle? Please, can I get the arrow? will it make me talk?
me: what kind of food do you like?
b:(makes elephant noise) that’s like ms lourdes do.
me: why, is ms lourdes an elephant?
b: no, she’s a teacher.

(I swear, that really happened)